mmm… hi… hello.. just a little updateski

wow, where the fuck have i been? it’s like i totally forgot about this thing!!

so, let me fill you in on the last few months.

february – april resulted in heartbreak. no surprise there. that’s what i get for dating a 20 year old indecisive brat. for the longest time i kept thinking it was me. i bent over backwards for that girl and all she did was emotionally rape me and manipulate the shit out of me day after day. one day she’d be nice, the next she’d be a cunt. (i do respect women, just not the ones that disrespect me) anyway, she only liked the idea of me, and that idea was me constantly chasing her and trying to get her to see how i felt about her… and all she did was play me like a game of 5 people monopoly. very sloppy, and she didn’t win. the banker always wins, BITCH! anywoo, breaking up with me was the best thing she ever did for the both of us. especially since i’m starting to believe she’s actually straight. no wonder she never wanted to have sex… well, she never wanted me anyway, she just wanted my attention. whatevs. good riddance!

april -present has pretty much rocked hard. i can’t even remember a time in my life where i’ve been this comfortable and happy. there is a very special girl in my life now that has my heart, and makes life on this earth just a tad bit better than it was before. she compliments me in the best ways, and goddamn she’s sexy. i’m just really stoked i found a girl that likes me. she’s completely genuine, caring, and loving..and she can kick my ass one handed, and she’s only about 5 foot 3. TALK ABOUT A FOX. thank you jesus!

that’s about all that has been going on lately. I’M IN LOVE, AND FINALLY IT’S A GIRL THAT IS WORTH IT.

oh, and michael fucking jackson died. WTF?!? i know we all loved to hate him, because he was kinda creepy and all those child molestation accusations. but really, we all know he was the shit. RIP MJ.

valentines day massacre, in our PANTS.

hi, good morning.

happy belated spend-money-get pussy-day!!

i hope everyone got to paddle in the poon lagoon yesterday. the jealousy is raging inside me as i sit here thinking of all the hot, sweaty, possibly dirty sex going on yesterday with all of you.

since the jealousy is just oozing out of me… let me just say… fuck periods.

how is it possible that the week of valentines day our (the lady and i) cycles decided to “sync” ??? what the FUCK? i’m bitter, and i’m not even going to sugar coat it. forrealz.

talk about pussy block of all pussy blockers!!!

nothing gets me more PISSY than planning a nice valentines day involving yours truly cooking dinner, baking a barrage of bad carb desserts, making a fucking cute ass card out of bondage tape and not being able to get her naked and tie her up with it after!

let me rephrase that last statement “nothing gets me more PUSSY than planning a nice valentines day involving yours truly cooking dinner, baking a barrage of bad carb desserts, and making a fucking cute ass card out of bondage tape”

seriously! what could have been!!

that makes this whole thing a little funnier… that is all…

to come? or not to come?

my answer would be to come. a lot. repeatedly, and for hours..

UGH, i can ONLY dream.

lately, my life has gone in the direction of a downward spiral.

it all started about a week ago, but i pretty much forgot about most of it until today. today is a holiday.. and i DID plan on masturbating ALL DAY. however, the device that i have entrusted my orgasms in has decided it doesn’t want to get me off anymore. it has decided to short out, and die without any last goodbyes. no fuckin’ love, not even a “dear john” letter.

i discovered this while trying achieve spiritual and sexual nirvana with myself this morning. i almost created a small electrical fire in my bed, by twisting and bending wires in hopes of ghetto rigging that bitch and creating sort of vibration to come from that little bean on a string. i started to get slightly worried when i could smell plastic burning, and since tempur material is NOT fire resistant i decided to give it up.

so, to no avail, i was left horny, sweaty, frustrated and about to pop a cap in the ass of the “magic 7x pleasure bullet” creator.. MADE IN CHINA!!! WHAT ? WHAT? WHAT DO THE CHINESE KNOW ABOUT MAKING A RELIABLE SEX TOY???

i think i’m just pissed i spent 30 dollars on this device and not even two months later the damn thing met it’s demise.

with that being said, i’m on a mission. i need a sex toy that will NOT die. i need something other than the “magic bullet” because there ain’t nothin magical about getting done dirty like that. i’d like to say i was left high and dry, but unfortunately i was left pissed and wetter than a god damn waterfall.

for the meantime, i will proceed to lock myself in my roommates bathroom, take a “bath”, and molest his showerhead until it brings me to ultimate orgasmic pleasure. hopefully, that will at least provide SOME type of happiness in this day… that was totally shit on by the magic bullet.

anyway, on the topic of sex toys. i stumbled across this whole “strapless strap-on” concept and while i’m extremely, EXTREMELY curious and slightly turned on by this.. i’m worried i’ll spend 90 dollars on a device and the girl i’m bangin’ won’t let me try it on her.

most people would say… then get rid of the girl right?

hahahah right..

that is all…

i have a date with the shower head.

forgive me father..

for i have sinned. it’s been four days since my last blogging. alright, alright.. i lied. i usually blog on my-space, and it’s usually a daily occurrence but it really is never about anything too interesting. miscellaneous youtube videos and whatnots.

can i just say.. that girls are fucking insane? like seriously. i know i am a girl, i have a vagina, and i love the vagina. however, i like to think that at least out of the three billion women on this planet i am one of the maybe million that is pretty sane. why is it that i always get myself involved with girls that are emotionally unavailable or ones that dabble between both sides of the fence? see, now this is why miss vickie vegas needs to just keep this singularity up. then we can just eliminate all the ridiculous feelings and shit that happen with said involvements.

so, if we are just friends.. please don’t cling to me when you have no one else. please don’t try to touch my vajay and most definitely do not try to look like my girlfriend when we are out and about. because when you go back to fucking your boyfriend, it’s a slight debbie downer. it feels really nice, but god it fucks me up! i am somewhat semi-bitter over the fact that i did absolutely fall in love with a girl knowing nothing would come of it, but still let it ride on because it felt comforting. i guess the game was played on both sides. she played, and i played back. it was a fun, exciting, short adventure.

now, here’s the even sicker part. amidst all this.. semi-bitterness. i still have this insane, deep, genuine care and love for her. i think if anything the bitterness isn’t towards her at all. it’s towards myself for letting ME get sucked into her. this is one of those times where i say “i should have known better” and i really should have. but of course.. all those things that we like and make us feel good, we wish would stay forever. we basically get high off of the feeling of mutual neediness and the want for companionship. it’s gross. and here’s where i break out the impermanence talk. NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY. as much as we always want for things to stay the same and be fun/awesome. they never are. things always change and as humans we just have to learn to adapt to the ever-moving ground below us. if we don’t, we become these hollow individuals that blame ourselves and everything around us for the things that happen to us. shit happens, love happens, death happens, all this happens. i’m learning to grasp this concept more and more. i think since i’ve been remembering that key point, i’ve been letting shit roll off my back a lot easier. without getting so angry and upset that things turn out the way they do. it’s just life.

it always takes me a little bit of time to figure these things out. at first, i never know what is going on. i’m just like “yeahhh dude, let’s roll with it, go with the flow baby” in reality, i need to stop doing that. i need to stop falling in love with girls that can’t love me back. well, i’m not talking about my buddhist kind loving nature, i’m talking about the “i wanna be your barefooted baby mama” love.

and i will. eventually.
ok, ANYWAYS…

my roommate came into my room the other day as usual spot on around 8 am. he’s a pretty awesome dude, he always brings me breakfast and we sit around and chit chat before he gets ready for work. blah blah blah, whatever.. he was telling me about how he met this chick online and they hung out and long story short she gave him a beej. i was like “woot! more power to ya dude”, but when he told me she “gobbled down every drop” of his man juice.. i almost vomited every piece of eggs and potatoes i ate. actually, just retelling this story to you guys made me throw up in my mouth a little.

semen is probably one of the most disgusting things ever. i don’t know how for about eight years of my heterosexual sexually active part of my life (give or take a few years in between when i was celibate) i was able to put up with that shit. i would always remember dodging the cum-shot. trying to get my hands in the way more than my mouth and just hope it would be over quickly. damn, no matter what you put on a dick it still doesn’t taste good. and that’s how i knew i was gay…

well, except for the fact that every time i banged a dude i thought of girls. the whole time i’d be thinking “no, honey.. fuck me from behind so i can stare at the wall and imagine milla jovovich hittin’ it with a strap on”

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA, OH THE LULZ of this entry.

p.s.burningangel.com stickers really make for good gifts to your neighbors asshole guests who park their piece of shit cars in front of your house. OR the jesus wagon that cut you off AND flipped you off while speeding down the road to church. :]

ello, earth to vickie? control your shit.

good golly miss molly! i don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. i’ve been pretty good at managing my emo side of me, but today i feel like i’m failing.

maybe it’s because after 11 exhausting innings of watching the tied sox/angels game, we let those sneaky halos beat us. i was really hoping for a sweep there. of course though, being a sox fan.. one can only know how we do get disappointed at times. ugh.. we’ll win. i believe!

i’m not sure what is bringing me down today. it could be a jumble of shit, as it usually is. i might be letting my brain think way too much for its own good. i’m pretty sure that’s what it is. i haven’t been controlling the way i’ve been feeling. my brain is just thinking all kinds of nonsensical bullshit and bringing me down in the process. damn it vickie. TAKE CONTROL. i need to go read/meditate before i go from being all buddhist and happy to psycho and angry.

i leave you with this. TERRADACTYL PORN. yep, i said it. a friend of mine posted this on her myspace. i’m disturbed by this.. but in the same instance FASCINATED. who’s idea was this? and who the hell gets off on prehistorical porno, and seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

Click here for DINO PORNO

first blog yay!

i’ve been through it all, from diaryland, blurty, livejournal, probably even deadjournal at some point. hopefully this will be one i’ll keep up. i’ve always thought that blogging keeps me sane, it’s the best vessel for my thoughts. maybe it’s just that i like to talk about myself? whatever it is, here i am. this is just that.. me shootin the shit. hopefully it makes you laugh and smile. with that being said.. check out my blogroll and the links down below. they are all in need of some viewing pleasure. and everyone likes pleasure right? OoOoOoOoOoo.

I love cupcakes.. WHO DOESN’T LOVE CUPCAKES??

and the new love of my life casey patridge… HOT DIGGITY DAMN.